School children warned of dangers of watching Clarkson eclipse
Some oafs believe the world rotates around Clarkson. Students at Harold’s Shining Future Academy will be allowed to miss lessons on Friday morning, so they can experience 35 minutes with a reduced view...
View Article‘Not being allowed to punch someone at work, it’s PC gone mad’. The Internet...
The Internet has been reacting angrily following the BBC’s “ridiculous decision” not to renew Jeremy Clarkson’s contract after he beat up a producer. The BBC made the decision that verbally abusing...
View ArticleFire raging under London will continue until Jeremy Clarkson is back on Top...
London: tomorrow. Thanks liberal, SJW Guardianistas, thanks a lot. A surprising source for the fire currently raging under central London has been revealed – God. “In the BBC I am not well pleased,”...
View Article‘I will miss punching people’ says Jeremy Clarkson
Sandwich? Knuckle. In his first comment since being dropped from the TV show Top Gear, Jeremy Clarkson has said he will miss punching people in the face. The presenter was writing in his first column...
View Article‘Reimagined’ Top Gear will feature ‘more cooking’
The new team decide who to pick on first. The BBC has announced exciting plans to gently manoeuvre the hit show ‘Top Gear’ away from the race track, and into the kitchen. “Some fans have said that the...
View Article10 car facts about Top Gear presenter Chris Evans
Evans also enjoys playing golf. F**king golf. Chris Evans owns dozens of Ferraris, but he painted them white because red ones clash with his hair. Chris Evans has had it written into his contract...
View ArticleEmbarrassment for Cameron as his friends find out he’s not so wealthy after all
Bankrupt, both financially and morally. In a tearful interview with ITN’s Robert Peston, David Cameron has been forced to disclose that he’s not the fabulously wealthy millionaire many of his inner...
View ArticleJeremy Clarkson involved in celebrity onesome?
After solving the celebrity threesome case, the internet has outed Jeremy Clarkson for conducting a one-in-the-bed romp. Speculation the presenter was involved in a steamy celebrity onesome intensified...
View ArticleTears as last person to give a rat’s arse about Top Gear and Clarkson dies
If you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you The village of Harold is tinged with sadness this morning following the news that village idiot, Tim Trotman, has died leaving...
View ArticleA level results less relevant than birth weight two seconds after you get...
Claim you went here and got lots of O.W.Ls and N.E.W.Ts, no one will ever check A level results getting villagers today are happy in the knowledge that absolutely no one cares. “All through school I...
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